J-P Teti

J-P Teti

Posts tagged “the onion”

‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

The Onion:

“This was a terrible tragedy, but sometimes these things just happen and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop them,” said North Carolina resident Samuel Wipper, echoing sentiments expressed by tens of millions of individuals who reside in a nation where over half of the world’s deadliest mass shootings have occurred in the past 50 years and whose citizens are 20 times more likely to die of gun violence than those of other developed nations.

Completely Self-Absorbed Obama Gets Up And Just Talks For An Hour Straight

The Onion:

In a shocking display of deep self-absorption and narcissistic behavior, President Barack Obama stood up in front of the entire nation Tuesday and talked for more than an hour straight, sources confirmed.